1st Week with Milo

By Adam Johnson

August 10^th, 2014

ECSTASY & TORTURE

The first week with a newborn is like being tortured for government secrets while locked in a kennel with a litter of puppies. Sure the torture sucks, but every time you turn around, there is a puppy!

THE BEST MEDICINE

For Jess, waking up in the hospital from major abdominal surgery is hard. Laboring in childbirth for 10 hard hours is exhausting. Milo has just had the most stressful day of his entire life. Both are completely wiped out. What better to do than lay in bed, resting, recovering and falling madly in love with one another?

hospital weekend

We spent the entire weekend recovering at Boulder Community Hospital. The hospital is like a hotel with 24 hour nurses and daily doctor visits. From the moment your baby is born, you are never separated, even in the NICU. Most recovery rooms have a queen-sized bed so that couples can sleep in the same bed. With Jess’s pain, we thought it best to opt for a room with a single, adjustable hospital bed to ease her pain. I was relegated to the couch.

The first few nights were intimidating. Having never changed a baby’s diaper, I was thrown straight into the deep end. The night nurse changed the first one as a gift to me, but I was on my own from there. The wailing cries from your precious baby will about break your heart while changing him. This thing is starting to feel very real.

Headed home!

After 5 days and 4 nights in the hospital, we were ready to go home. Being woken up every couple of hours to check vitals and distribute meds is definitely a blessing, but can also be a tremendous pain in the butt. I know, First World problem.

Milo got to wear his first outfit that was not a tightly wrapped blanket. At 6 pounds and 19 inches tall, it is hard to find pants that fit him. With the legs rolled up, the waistband still hits him in the chest.

We are learning early that little Milo can be pretty intense. His carseat face is full-on…clenched fists, furrowed brow and not a peep of noise. Lets get this show in the road guys!

Coming home was fantastic. Our good friend Hara had not only cleaned our house, but also left a fun “welcome home” sign on our table with fresh-cut flowers. What a tremendous gift. Thank you Hara!

Terrified of a 7 pounder

The first few days at home were a “challenge”. I can honestly say that I have never been more intimidated by anything less than 7 pounds in my life. I have absolutely no experience with newborns. As I’ve read, he has a stomach the size of a walnut and every time it fills up, his shits himself. Every time it empties, he needs to feed again.

The night time has been the most troublesome. Prior to a week ago, I was used to getting a full night of uninterrupted sleep. I don’t even use an alarm so that my body can wake up with its natural rhythms. If I am jarred awake, the only thought in my mind is “go back to sleep Sweet Prince”. Now, I am jarred awake in the middle of a REM cycle by a wailing baby that I do not yet have the troubleshooting skills to confidently resolve. I am practicing maintaining calm energy during these moments. Baby steps…

The moby wrap

Our Doula Jenevieve came over for a postpartum visit to see how things were going. We had plenty of issues to talk through. Like a skilled consultant, she listened, took notes, empathized, and made solid suggestions for future changes. As we were chatting, I continued folding the piles of laundry when I came upon a long black “scarf” that must have been 10 feet long. Sensing my confusion, Jenevieve jumped to her feet, had me lift my arms and proceeded to wrap, loop, cross and tie this scarf around my body until I looked like I was headed to ComicCon. After showing me where to stuff the baby using our stuffed dog as a demo baby, she then took Milo and shoved him securely into one of the folds of the strap. The other strap came across and then the waist strap came up to secure him. Suddenly Milo was content, Jess was free and I still had the use of both arms. A whole new world had opened up! Jess spent the next 3 hours napping while I was able to open my computer and get a bit of work done. One small step that feels like a giant leap.

Happiest baby on the block

We are learning that all good strategies for calming this human anomaly have a pretty short shelf life. The Moby wrap was great yesterday, but today he wanted no part of it. Back to the drawing board. As he cried incessantly, it seemed the only thing that would sooth him was breastfeeding, and once this lost its appeal, he was inconsolable.

A few friends recommended The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp. My friend Jason was kind enough to send a very long email with wisdom and advice on recovering from a c-section and surviving the first few weeks of parenthood. He implored us to watch the Happiest Baby movie ASAP. So, we bought it on Amazon Streaming and watched as this baby whisperer soothed the fussiest of babies. The parents in the video looked on in utter disbelief.

The concept is based on the 5 Ss. Swaddling, Side/Stomach, Shooshing, Swinging and Sucking. The basic philosophy is that babies are born one trimester too early and that we must recreate the environment of the womb in order to properly sooth them. He demonstrates the calming reflex that immediately quiets these screaming newborns. I’ll be damned if it didn’t work. We wrapped him up like a burrito as his flailed and screamed, laid his on his side and began shooshing in his ear and jiggling him gently back and forth. He went from hysterical, to calm and alert, to yawning and groggy, to sleeping like a baby.

Glowing bill of health

Milo had his first doctor’s appointment this week. He passed all of his exams with high marks. For extra credit, he demonstrated the strength and volume of his bowels. Way to go little man!

Little Buddha

The first week with our little Buddha has been a roller coaster. We have quickly come to realize that life will never again be the same as it was before. The line of demarcation is as clear as any in our lives.

Before Milo, our lives were filled with friends, careers, travel, adventure and self-fulfillment. If anything, our universe has just expanded. No longer will we see the world through our own self-centered lenses, but we’ll get to experience the world through his. Things that were banal will again be new and exciting. There is no more “been there, done that” because our little guy has not been there or done that. In his world, everything is brand new. In a strange way, I am a bit envious, but I am so blessed to be along for the ride.