AtomJohnson Blog

Nature’s candy is crap!

atomjohnson — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 01:27:38 +0000

I don’t know what Halloween was like for you, but for me it was the most scenic stretch along the road to child obesity. I quickly ditched the tiny plastic pumpkin to collect my candy for a larger, more pliable king-sized pillow case. I had two goals for the night. 1 - fill the pillow case with candy. 2 - transfer as much candy as possible directly into my stomach via my mouth before the clock struck November.

I don’t have kids of my own, so I don’t really understand what makes kids tick these days on Halloween, but I had to believe that their goals were similar to mine. I was blown away this past weekend to see kids “choosing” healthy food options over real life candy. I saw kids with Clif Bars, Luna Bars and Emergen-C. It really was appauling. I pulled a teenager aside to ask if this is what it was like when she was a kid and she confirmed that this has been going on in Boulder for years. No wonder we don’t have any fat kids to make fun of…its horrible. I feel like I wouldn’t be the person I am today if Chuck Parks hadn’t consistently referred to me as Mountain Butt throughout elementary school. I guess I just don’t want these beautiful young children to miss out on this type of mockery. Children of Boulder…I ask you to pick up that apple, find the house that handed it to you, throw it at their mailbox, eat all of the candy that you were able to hold onto, and enjoy the hell out of that hypoglycemic coma.

Adam is Jess. Jess is Adam. Up is Down. Black is White…

Wild Sage Trick or Treaters

Raisin? No…is a Rambutan.

Halloween party at Nick and Karin’s

Happy Halloween…now go eat your lunch

atomjohnson — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:15:12 +0000

Nobody likes higher taxes

atomjohnson — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 21:06:06 +0000

I hear alot of people who are fearful that Barack Obama is going to raise their taxes. It simply isn’t true (for most of us).

You’ll be surprised to find out that I, as an individual, don’t make over $200,000 per year. I know…the plastic teeth aligners, the Honda Element, the leather belts, satellite TV service…its like watching Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I acquire all of this the same way that most of us do…I am in debt up to the diamond studded earings that adorn both of my ears.

This tax calculator helped clear up how much of a tax cut I would get under Obama’s tax plan. If you’re afraid that your taxes are going to go up, please take a second to run the numbers. I think you’ll be surprised that you’ll be paying less in taxes under Obama.

Try the tax cut calculator.

The irony is palpable…

atomjohnson — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 18:17:41 +0000

In an effort to continue to educate myself on the candidates and the issues, I went to each of the candidates websites to once again consider the issues and see who I thought was better to lead this country in this time of domestic crisis. Of course when deciding who is going to run our country, you should also consider who would step in should something happen to our President. So, I attempted to find out a bit more about each Vice Presidential candidate on the Internet. I must say it was a challenge to find information on where Sarah Palin stands on the issues. Being in the internet industry though, I surfed on over to http://www.sarahpalin.com, only to find the following…

Still Crazy After All These Years

atomjohnson — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:34:17 +0000

In a world where nobody stays together anymore, my folks have done just that. After writing a false entry about going camping this weekend, I flew to Atlanta on Saturday to surprise them at the surprise party that my sister organized to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. My folks were under the impression that they’d be sharing a celebratory meal with my sister, her husband Alan and my brother Scott. Little did they know that Amy had invited the greater extended family from the Atlanta area as well as a few of Mom and Dad’s closest friends. Amy did an amazing job! She even had table tents with pictures of Mom and Dad through their 40 years. It was funny to see my father getting married at 23 and thinking that for once he looked younger than me in his wedding photo. I truly am blessed to have such an amazing family with two very loving and supportive parents that have served as the glue for so long now. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

Camping…finally

atomjohnson — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 23:12:07 +0000

After the rush to convert the Element into an RV for our 1 year anniversary, Jess and I are finally getting a chance to use the thing the way it was intended…for RV’ing. We’re heading out this evening for a weekend in the woods. Boulder will just have to learn to live without us and the dogs for a few days…

On undecided voters

atomjohnson — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:52:50 +0000

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?” To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

- David Sedaris

Happy Birthday iPod

atomjohnson — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:22:32 +0000

You’ve come along way in 7 years…

American Football…not bad…

atomjohnson — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 04:44:58 +0000

For those of you who think Jess works as a kindergarten teacher simply for the high salary, you’re wrong…she also does it for the amazing perks. For instance, we got complimentary tickets to the CU Boulder football competition on Saturday night. Their opponent was none other than the famed Kansas State Wildcats. I have never been to a college football game larger than a JMU game. It was pretty cool being there. It makes me want to go to a Big 10 game. Am I saying that right? Big 10?

Pumpkins, Pizza and Pilsners

atomjohnson — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 04:41:52 +0000

This past Friday was the 2nd (or 3rd) annual Pumpkins, Pizza and Pilsners party at Wild Sage. It is basically a glorified beauty pagent for our orange friends. Jess’s pumpkin won the award for “Most Funny”. Mine came in second for Best in Show. The problem is that nobody ever remembers who came in second. For instance…do you remember who came in second at the Berkely Lake 5K fun run a year ago? See…that is my point. (By the way…it was me)