AtomJohnson Blog

I have several friends around here that frequently do and internal cleanse.  The most popular cleanse around here is one where you consume nothing but a mixture of lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper for three days.  By the end of it, you’ve basically power-washed the inside of your colon.  I’ve only snickered and pointed when I’ve heard of people doing this.  I’ve never considered taking in on myself….until now.  For whatever reason, I feel this urge to cleanse my own system.  So, early next week, I think I’m going to give it a shot.  I’m sure I’ll blog about this experience, but don’t worry, I’ll leave out the gross details…unlike this girl.

If you happen to overhear someone say that David Hasselhoff is a talentless ass-clown, do them a favor and punch them in the face. They are dead wrong! You need proof? Here is your proof….

I hate it in the movies when some main character is having a really bad day and the next thing you know, a car hits a pothole and splashes all of the water directly onto the main character.  I’m always like, “that would never happen”.  Well, today I was that main character.  I was on my way out to buy some spinach and a vacuum cleaner.  It was a gorgeous day, so I had my car window open.  As I’m pulling out of my neighborhood, a Boulder Police SUV hits a pothole and splashes about a gallon of water through my window, and onto my face or torso.  Fortunately, I was in Boulder, so I had on enough Gortex to prevent any major damage.

The thing is, I was having a great day…I went up to Brainard Lakes this morning with some neighbors to go snowshoeing and cross country skiing.  Two couples brought their kids and the bachelors of the group brought their dogs.  Jeff (the other bachelor) had not left the parking lot before he had lost his dog.  He and I went trucking down several trails trying to find the dog.  We were passing out our phone numbers to everyone we passed just in case they found the dog.  Fortunately, the dog showed up in the parking lot after a few hours.  The guy who she was following said that she was tagging along behind some Nordic skiers.  I’m sure at some point in the hike, she looked over at her daddy and was like, “Wait a minute!  You’re not my daddy!”  Needless to say, it was a huge relief to find her.

Today was a fairly low-key Saturday, which is about the best that I could hope for. I am at that point in my new home (of Boulder, CO) where I don’t mind staying indoors on a Saturday. That is a sure sign that this place is starting to feel like home. It was a cold, snowy morning. It was the kind of morning where you just want to watch TV in your pajamas. Of course I don’t have TV service, so it would be more like watching the armoire in your pajamas…not as fun.

So, I woke up about 7:30 this morning with a severe case of the “shivers”. After my late night blog entry yesterday, I walked into my bedroom to find that Sadie had tried to make the bed with her razor blade teeth. Much to her dismay (I’m sure), she actually ripped up the bed…leaving goose down feathers and shards of flannel strewn throughout the room. Being too tired to walk upstairs to grab a quilt, I covered myself with a fleece blanket that would have torn if you tried to blow your nose on it. I might as well have covered myself in tracing paper…

After a morning of staring at the armoire, Sadie and I finally motivated for an afternoon hike. Fortunately, there is plenty of good hiking right out the front door…so, we headed across the street to Wonderland Lake Open Space. The hike resulted in the following photos:

It is 1am, and once again, I am up past my bedtime. I just got home from an evening in Denver with Matt and Rachel. While snacking on some almonds, I began reading a review of The British Bulldog in Denver. I’m pretty sure that this is going to be my new spot for watching English Premier League soccer. All the talk of the perfect pour of Guiness and thickly battered fish and chips made me a bit thirsty for a beer. So, I figured that I’m an adult…if I want to drink my first beer of the evening at 1am….alone….by golly, I’m gonna do it.

The night in Denver was strange enough to warrant a beer. It all started at Pei Wei Asian Diner when we approached the young man at the counter only to hear him mumble that “Robot Chicken has really been cracking him up lately”. I saw that Matt’s face was clearly saying, “What the hell did he just say?!?” Thanks to my brother, I am well aware of what Robot Chicken is and was able to laugh and say, “Yes, Robot Chicken also makes me laugh, (chuckle, chuckle, chuckle)”. We ordered our drinks and Edamame and sat down to wait for the rest of our party to show.

On our second approach to the ordering counter, the staff had completely shifted. Instead of Robot Chicken guy, I now had Mrs. Cleaver (the Beav’s Mom). After taking my order with a smile and wink, she asked if we had tried their Edamame. I told her that we had enjoyed it only moments earlier. This is when she leaned over the counter and whispered that she would be bringing us some crab wontons to enjoy. Her tone made it clear that it was ‘our secret’. They were delicious.

Upon finishing our meal and getting up to leave, I looked around for the Beav’s mom in order to thank her for the crab wontons. She was nowhere in sight, so I was left to assume that she had picked up on our gratitude earlier. Just as I was about to open my driver’s side door, the front door to Pei Wei opened just wide enough for Mrs. Cleaver to thank us for coming in. I assured her that I would not be returning to her restaurant until tomorrow night…and then not again until the next night.

Next to the $1 movie theater that we went to is a Mongonlian BBQ restaurant. Matt and Rachel informed me that this was the original plan for dinner, but they weren’t sure how long it would take. I would not have traded the Pei Wei experience for anything. However, after the movie let out, there was clearly the sound of disco coming from the Mongolian BBQ restaurant. I peaked my head in the door just to see what the heck was going on. It appears that the Mongolian BBQ place turns into a Russian disco parlor for elderly Russian after 10pm. I had dozed off for about 10 minutes in the movie and for a moment was convinced that I might not have woken up. I really wanted to go take some photos of the scene, but Rachel informed me that the place is owned by Russian mafia, so I kept the camera in the bag.

The movie we saw tonight was appropriately entitled Stranger Than Fiction.

It is 1am on Friday and I am desparately trying to wind down from my 11pm soccer game so that I can get a little shut eye.  That is right…11pm!  There are all kinds of interesting challenges that come with an 11pm soccer game.  Like…what time should I eat so that I don’t throw up during my game.  Is it OK to eat sushi four hours before game time? Will eating sushi before my game give my the worst gas of my entire life?

Apparently the answer to that little riddle is a resounding ‘yes’.

Last night Greg, Kristen and I enjoyed limited success with our State of the Union drinking game. We had several rules that were guaranteed to at least get us buzzed during the President’s speech. For example, we were supposed to drink once everytime the President said ‘ethanol’, drink twice if he says ’switchgrass’, and chug our entire beer if he hugs and cheek-kisses Joe Lieberman.

The entire speech was fairly sobering. I ended up making up new rules as the game went on just so my beer wouldn’t get warm.

My two favorite George Bush videos are below. In the first one, George Bush is played by Will Ferrell. In the second one, George Bush is played by George Bush. Honestly, I don’t know who is more believable in the role.

After working all weekend, I finally got to take a break today. This morning, I went climbing at the bouldering gym with some friends from my neighborhood. It was really fun, but I definitely have alot of room for improvement. Then, I decided to play pickup indoor soccer today from noon till 2pm. I’ve been playing in a league on Thursday nights and have come to realize that if I don’t get into better soccer shape, it is likely that I will leave a half-deflated lung lying exposed on the field one night. So, a solid two hours of running around on the pitch will hopefully help cure me of that.

Upon returning home, I found out that the project I was working on has been postponed until next Fiscal year…so basically April. While this was a bit disappointing, it was also a bit of a relief. This gives me more time to learn the technology. Hopefully in April I’ll hit the ground running.

I also came home to find a message from my grandmother on my cell phone. It said something to the effect of:

“Adam, this is Nanny. I don’t see why you’re not at home working. How bout calling me? I wanted to see how things were. You take care. Bye, bye.”

I take one extended lunch break and my grandmother calls to bust me….unbelievable!

So, without that project deadline hanging over my head, that leaves tonight free to turn the State of the Union into a drinking game and then watch rock climbing videos with my neighbor. To be honest though…right now, I’m most looking forward to going to sleep.

How I wish I were out hiking, skiing, or otherwise not standing at my computer right now. It is Saturday. I have spent every other day of this week standing here in the exact same place….working. I am trying to get through a very important, high-profile project at work using a technology that I have never used. I’ve spent the past few weeks fighting through a huge pile of work so that I could find some time to figure out this latest project. I’ve been back and forth through the Ruby on Rails book about four times, and today I just need to jump in with both feet and start putting this thing together. Fortunately, there has not been any new snow in the mountains in about two weeks and the skies outside are grey and overcast. If there were a weekend day to be stuck inside working, today is certainly that day.