AtomJohnson Blog

All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go
On the ground there’s two fresh feet of snow
If I don’t get to Steamboat, I will cry….

That is the song I was singing this morning (to the tune of Leaving On A Jet Plane) when I woke up to two feet of fresh snow on the ground this morning.  With the positive hopes that I would actually make it to Steamboat Springs this afternoon for a week of skiing, I rushed to my computer to see how much fresh powder I would be floating through tomorrow.  They got a whopping 0″!

However, I did get to put snow chains on the Civic for the first time yesterday.  Now I have snow chains, a trailer hitch…all I need now is a stained Iron Maiden t-shirt to make me the ‘ultimate catch’.

It was a struggle, but I finally got home to Atlanta for Christmas. After spending 5 hours waiting for my flight on Saturday, I pulled into the Atlanta airport at 1:30am on Christmas Eve. This is nothing though compared to the folks who were stranded at DIA for four days. One poor kid who was on my flight had been there since Wednesday. He smelled like asparagus and body odor. Luck was with me as I was not forced to sit by him.

Christmas was wonderful as usual at the Johnson house. There were lots of gifts, lots of food, and lots of booze…followed by midday naps and late evening snacks.

I’ve just finished a book called Ultra Marathon Man: Confessions of an All Night Runner. It is by Dean Karnazes. This is the fool who ran 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 consecutive days. It was incredibly inspiring! If you had asked me a week ago whether I’d ever run a marathon, I would have said ‘no’ without hesitation. Ask me tonight and I’ll at least hesitate and say ‘maybe’. Ask me tomorrow, and who knows? Right now I am drinking Newcastle Ale and chomping on peanuts. Tomorrow I’ll be drinking beer, eating hot wings and watching Manchester United with my brother at the bar. Perhaps my ultra marathon training will start on Wednesday….if there is not another soccer game on TV.

Yesterday I found the silver lining on getting stuck in Colorado for four extra days over the holidays…it was the 23.5″ of fresh powder at Winter Park / Mary Jane. After digging out the cars the day before, Matt, Rachel and I had secured wheels to get us up to the mountains on Friday morning. We woke up at 5:30am to get on the road by 6am. Surprisingly, there were very few people heading to the mountains. I figure most people were either Christmas shopping or shoveling their car out from wherever they abandoned it on Wednesday.

The skiing was incredible! I have never skiid in powder up to my knees. It is amazing how quickly it can bury your skis, sending you flying through the air into a giant pillow of gloriously soft coldness. After a bit of practice and coaching, I was able to stay in my skiis, but there is still alot to learn. The hilight of my day was probably the faceplant that I performed into a packed mogul just under the main ski lift. There were lots of “ouches”, “holy sh*t dudes!” and applause thrown down from those who were fortunate enough to witness it. I was fortunate to come away with all of my teeth…only a bit bloodier than they were just before the faceplant.

After a well-deserved beer at the bar, we made our way back to Denver. We finished out the day at a birthday dinner for a mother of Rachel’s childhood friend. The dinner was at a great vegetarian restaurant in Denver. I had Seitan Buffalo wings, soup, salad and a few more beers. I had no trouble passing out on the living room chair while Matt forced us to watch the movie Willow. Sorry Matt…I promise I’ll see the movie someday.

So, after all this blizzard craziness, I’m scheduled to fly out to Atlanta tonight around 7pm. I’ve already checked in online and confirmed a seat, so I’m just hoping and praying that I don’t get bumped. My brother reported that its 65 degrees and sunny in Atlanta. After ‘The Storm of the Century’, I’m ready for a bit of Hotlanta.

Today was all about ‘digging out’. When we woke up this morning, the snow was still falling steadily. By the late afternoon, the sun had come out. It was gorgeous! Matt and Rachel shoveled off the paths while I did work on the computer. Later in the day, I went out in shorts and clogs to help shovel the car out. I would recommend boots and pants in the future. Once we got the car out, we were able to drive to get the other cars. Matt and I shoveled out Rachel’s car from work. It is major work moving all that snow. We finally got it out, just to have it stall and not start again. We then had to push it through the snow into a parking spot. I was thoroughly exhausted. We then went to pull Matt’s car out where we left it yesterday. Our fear was that the plows would have piled up all the snow around the car. Fortunately, it was as we left it. We ended the night at La Mariposa Mexican restaurant. The food was hot, the beer was cold…I was the only one of the three of us who got carded.

Winterpark got 21.5″ of fresh powder yesterday. Guess where we’ll be spending our Friday?

Have you ever gone to the store to get snow chains…only to get stranded in a snow storm? Yeah, me neither…until now.

It all started this morning about 8am when I logged into the web to check my flight status. Normally I would not be so diligent, but the fact that everything that was formally green was now white made me think there might be some delays. The word ‘cancelled’ was not something I was hoping to see on the screen. Nonetheless, it was there…right next to my flight number. After several attempts to contact United to find out where I should expect to wakeup on Christmas morning, I made a gametime decision and bought another ticket on Frontier Airlines for Saturday night. I’ll be getting in at midnight on Saturday, but at least I’ll be home another year to collect my Christmas loot…(please let it be a BB gun this year).

After an hour of stress and uncertainty, I desperately needed breakfast. So, Matt and I took the first step towards the biggest mistake of the day…we got in the car. We got in the car and headed towards the Krameria Diner. After several cups of coffee and a pablano pepper omlette, Matt asks me if I wouldn’t mind running a quick errand with him. Of course I did not…so we headed out towards Kohls.

Kohls is five miles down the street from his house. So, instead of driving half a mile back to the warm, cozy house (with more coffee and movies), we drove down to Kohls…passing several 18 wheelers in the opposite lane that just weren’t making it up the hills. Normally I would simply think, ‘that sucks for them’…however, since this was our return route, I was beginning to think a bit more along the lines of, ‘this sucks’. After arriving at Kohls (which turned out to be Super Target), we strode in for our snow chains. Can you guess the only item that Super Target does not carry? Thats right…..snow chains…in Colorado! In order to salvage the trip, we at least headed next door to Bass Outdoor World so that Matt could show me Colorado’s largest taxidermy museum.

Feeling defeated, we got back onto the road to head home. All of the other idiots on the road had pretty much brought traffic to a complete stop. There was one bright light though in this situation…unfortunately, it was the fuel light. After heading further North to find some fuel, we again got back on the road to get home. An hour later, we had gone ‘nowhere’….literally ‘nowhere’. The decision was made to hop the curb, park back at the gas station, and jog the five miles back home…through ‘The Storm of the Century’. We filled our pockets with cream cheese Kaptain Wafers, posed for a photo next to bun warmer machine and headed out into the urban wilderness.

We estimated a two hour jog-o-misery back home. Once we got past the impassable hill that had stopped everyone in their tracks, cars were once again passing us. I’m not a big proponent of hitchhiking, but the circumstances were dire. So, the thumbs went up and fortunately a Chevy Tahoe picked us up and agreed to drive us home in exchange for us ‘not killing her’. We agreed and began the long, warm drive home.

So, the ‘Storm of the Century’ continues outside while Matt and I are cozy inside….beer and movies in hand. Welcome to Colorado!

Sometimes the universe is just telling you to grow a mullet.  For the past several months, it has been my dragging muffler and consequently dragracing-loud vehicle that was sending this message.  So, this week I silenced those voices by getting a new muffler installed.  Well, the muffler had not been in a day before the driver’s side window came off its tracks and now will not roll up.  So, I can either spend the time and the money to get this immediately fixed….or I can duct tape a garbage bag where the window used to be.  At this point I’m thinking of just giving in to the forces of the universe.  Do you think I should curl the back of the mullet a little?  Maybe I’ll just do that on special occasions.

I was a mullet and a mustache away from moving back South. My 1997 Honda Civic has been without a muffler now for several months. Every time I pulled up to a stop light, there was some testosterone-charged youth in a Mustang who thought I was challenging him. On green, he would peal rubber, leaving me in a cloud of smoke, while I slowly engaged first gear and patiently pulled into the intersection. This is not to say that I couldn’t have taken him if I wanted to…

Well, the glory days are over. Tonight I dropped $157 at the Honda dealership on a new muffler. I also got windshield wipers (2 had fallen off) and a fresh tank of oil (I had not changed since I drove half way across country without an oil cap).

Yes, the ‘Knight Rider’ now has a new lease on life…ready to prowl the streets of Denver and Boulder for ladies with a passion for speed…or those who like Japanese economy-sized hatchbacks.

Holy tired body and sore calves. I went to Copper Mountain again today with my friend Rachael.  She is the girlfriend of my buddy Matt whom I met out mountain biking.  Matt works insane 16 hour shifts at the hospital on the weekend, so he doesn’t get to hang out with us on weekends.  I’m hoping to get away some weekday very soon so that we can ski together.  I’m considering working tomorrow and taking Tuesday as a ski day.  In any case, Rachael and I had a great day on the slopes.  She was once a ski instructor in Germany, so she is able to provide pointers.  I must say though that it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks.  (That was a metaphor…)

During a conference call yesterday, my doorbell rang. Sadie began barking furiously, so I rushed to the door. Sitting on my doormat was the cutest little cardboard box you’ve ever seen. A cardboard box at this time of year can only be one thing….a present! So, I quickly checked the label as I tore open the box. It was from the architecture firm of the guy whom I just bought my house from. He had sent me four boxes of various chocolate treats from Harry & David gourment foods. How nice!

Later that evening, I saw Bryan outside and walked up to thank him. He looked at me as if to say, “I didn’t send you any chocolate”. I assured him that he had and again thanked him. Suddenly it occured to me that perhaps the chocolate were FOR him and not FROM him.

With my head low, I was forced to re-wrap the chocolates and deliver them to their intended recipient.