AtomJohnson Blog

My buddy Steve Hittle has signed me up to receive a daily fact about Chuck Norris in my email inbox. I must say that they have been very informative. I will keep you all in my thought and prayers that you too are lucky enough to be signed up for such a valuable service. I feel it would be a disservice not to share the two facts that I have so far accumulated with you.

Chuck Norris Fact #1:
“There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.”

Chuck Norris Fact #2:
“There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. “

Boulder, Boulder, Boulder….how I do love thee! Nat and I drove up to Boulder yesterday around noon to look at a few townhouses. The showings were fine, but the town of Boulder was even finer. Being up there on a weekday sealed it for me that that is where I want to live. After looking at a few townhouses, we headed over to the newer, larger Amante Coffee to get some coffee and to get some work done. As I walked in, they were once again playing soccer on the plasma TV, there were cycling jerseys and photos covering the walls, and I had my choice of coffee, wine, beer and/or gelato. I tried a bit of everything. I sat there with my coffee and gelato, looking out on the foothills of the Rockies and incredibly happy people sat around me sipping their coffee…and eyeing my gelato.

After looking at several townhouses, the Tantra Lakes townhouse is still in the lead. I am heading up tomorrow evening to look at a few townhouses in the Holiday neighborhood. I blogged about this neighborhood a year ago when Nat and I were passing through Boulder. It would be incredible if I ended up living there. It is the gateway to some of the best road biking in the area. It also happens to be right next door to Amante Coffee…which opens at 5:30am every day…and show English Premier League games all weekend.

Well, Nat has now returned home. She drove away this morning. We had a really great visit this time. The last visit was a bit all over the place. I think we had some issues that we needed to work though with the move, but things are going very well now. She is returning next week for some medical tests that the Army is making her take at the VA hospital here.

We closed out the visit last night with Mike and Ashley at the Cherry Cricket. This is a burger restaurant that I saw on the Food Channel a few weeks ago. Despite having to watch Rachel Ray compliment the burger with a mouth full of ground beef…I figured we had to try it. I asked what Rachel ordered when she was here filming. It could have been the horse apple pudding and I still would have eaten it. If it is good enough for Rachel Ray, it is good enough for this guy. Fortunately, she had the cricket burger with green chiles and pepper jack cheese (they don’t even have horse apple pudding). The combo of beer, hot wings, burger, fries and chili (at 10pm) put a hurting on me. I woke up this morning feeling full of toxins. I think the hot sauce had leaked a hole in my stomach lining and poisoned my entire system. The 100 degree day today in Denver allowed me a chance to sweat it all out.

Just to be sure that I got the last of it, I drove out this afternoon to Evergreen to mountain bike the Bergen Peak trail at Elk Meadows again. This time I took Sadie with me. I have never mountain biked with her and probably would not have even considered it an option if I didn’t know that David always takes Carter (his dog) with him. I must say that mountain biking is a great activity to do with a dog. The trip up the mountain was slow enough that we could stay together and the trip down was fast enough that it completely wore her out. After some dogfood, spinach, turkey and beer, the two of us will sleep very soundly tonight.

The ride today was great! We drove up to Boulder and parked the car at Tantra Lakes, which is the condo/apartment complex that I’m probably going to move to in a month. The bike path leaves from there and goes directly up Broadway through campus and onto the Pearl Street walking mall. Nat had never ridden a road bike, so she spent this time learning to shift gears and clip in and out of the pedals. I had called a friend who is an avid road biker in Boulder to get a suggestion for a good ride for a beginning road biker. He suggested a 35 mile loop that goes north of town, cuts East across the horse farms, and then drops down South again towards town. The suggestion was a great one…the ride was perfect for a beginner. I think that Hwy 36 North was probably a bit too busy for our taste, but this seems to be the main launch point for many of the rides in the area. Once we got onto St. Vrain road (the Eastbound road through horse country), the riding got really good. The horses at that point far outnumbered the cars, the skies were bright blue with the exception of the giant fluffy white clouds, and the views of the Front Range of the Rockies were our constant companion. At this point in the ride, Nat was beginning to see what road biking is really about and huge smiles covered both of our faces. The new Trek Madone would not let go of that smile on my face. The reviews that I had read about the bike kept saying that this bike always wants to go faster. I had no idea what they meant until I got out for a ride. The bike is like an overdeveloped four year old. It just wants to run and run and run. I was happy to comply.

Upon our return to Tanta Lakes, I noticed that two of the condos in the building that we had parked next to were for sale. These condos were more like townhouses. They were two story units with their own ground floor entry and their own private patios off the back. They back up to the middle school fields, which would serve as the perfect fenced-in dog run. I went over to the clubhouse to verify that these condos have full access to the facilities….which they do. So, for about $200 more per month, I could have twice the space of the unit I was going to rent, and I get a garage…and of course, I am putting my money towards a mortgage rather than rent.

After returning home, I left a message with my realtor to see if we could look at these units this week. I also found some other condos in the nicer areas that we biked through yesterday. So, it looks like I’m back in the real estate hunt. I know that I like Boulder enough to live there for at least a year or two. I figure if I’m going to be there for that long, I might as well invest in the place that I’m going to be living.

The silver lining on yesterday’s rainy Saturday turned out to be very bright. Nat and I took advantage of the Portland-like weather by doing rainy day activities…coffee, movie, a bit of shopping, dinner and drinks. We started out the day by hitting up a coffee shop around the corner from my house called Cafe Europa. A few people had recommended it to me prior to this visit. I would now pass that recommendation onto anyone. It has everything…amazing coffee, great food, friendly staff, great atomosphere and an eclectic clientele.

After coffee, we headed over to Linens N’ Thins to see if we could find a fuzzy green chair for Nat. She loves mine, but was going to wait until she got to school to order one. Well, it looks as if Linens N’ Things has pulled the chair off of their website, so we were afraid this would leave Nat out of the fuzzy green chair club. We pulled into the store and saw the last fuzzy green chair waiting for us on the top shelf. It was as if a spotlight were shining upon it and a gospel band was dancing in Aisle 4, the cheap furniture aisle. After a few coupon-related jokes at the register, the nice lady gave both Nat and I 20% off our most expensive item. She was from Iowa…which supports my theory that there are only nice people in the midwest.

So, we only ended up seeing one movie. The sun was starting to peak out of the clouds by the time we got to the theater, so sitting there for two movies while the sun was shining just didn’t feel right. The theater is right around the corner from my house. It is a classic downtown theater called The Mayan. There are only 3 theaters, but they show great independent movies, have giant red velvet curtains, and serve food, beer, and liquor.

The movie was An Inconvenient Truth. For those who don’t know this film, it is basically a filmed version of Al Gore’s travelling slide show about global warming. I truly believe that everyone should see this film. The film is not political at all…it is very scientific. The movie presents several very important scientific facts that clearly illustrate the path that we are currently on. The media portrays the debate as a 50/50 chance that we are headed for a climate crisis. The movie makes it clear that this debate is only occuring in the media…the scientific community does not dispute the fact that we are headed towards a very uncomfortable future. The consequences of not changing our course will be catastrophic. The film makes a great point that this is not a political issue, it is a moral one. If we know the course that we are currently on and we do not do something about it, we have just destroyed the world that we are leaving to our children. The movie is only $9 and 2 hours of your life….but the only way that we have any hope of stopping the current crisis is for more people to understand what is happening, what can be done and to begin to act upon those changes and to encourage others to act.

After the movie, we headed over to REI to pick up a few items at their labor day sale. The REI here is HUGE. It is in an old downtown factory. You could easily get lost and never find your way out. I have had dreams about this scenario…very, very good dreams.

Our final shopping destination was Campus Cycles to pick up the new Trek Madone 5.2 that I had ordered. We got there as they were closing, so I had to make a quick decision. I jumped on the bike and road one block and was completely sold. There is not question that I am going to have hours and hours of fun on this bike. Nat road it for a block and her eyes looked as if she were witnessing her first Christmas morning. She and I are going for our first road bike outing today around Boulder…I just know she is going to love it. Now that I have two Trek carbon fiber bikes, I can finally take her with me.

We closed out the day with Nat’s friend, Cash, from Wyoming. Cash is a true cowboy…down to the boots, the rodeo belt buckle and the Coors original beer. He shoes horses professionally and rides the rodeo circuit as a steer wrestler. These are the guys who jump off of horses onto an angry steer (you’d be angry two if they chopped off your noogens) and wrestle it to the ground (i know…its crazy!). He was an incredibly nice guy, but I couldn’t help thinking that everything that I presented about myself was not quite tough enough. I ride carbon fiber bicycles, watch European soccer and drink Stella Artois. This is a far cry from wrestling 1,000 pound animals to the ground, watching the Broncos every Saturday and drinking warm Coors. I might join a fantasy football league soon….you gotta start somewhere.

If it were going to rain, I guess it would have to do it on the day that Nat shows up to go camping. We woke up this morning to a pretty dreary day….overcast, cold, 100% chance of rain…

Even if there is not sunshine though, there is ALWAYS a silver lining. The silver lining that always frames a rainy day is the promise of sitting in a movie theater all day with nothing to do but get lost in the story. It has been a long, long time since I’ve been to the theater, so I’m am totally looking forward to this. We’re going to see Little Miss Sunshine followed by An Inconvenient Truth.

My new bike should be ready for pickup today. If you recall, my road bike was damaged when the strong Wyoming winds ripped the bike rack off of Nat’s car. Fortunately, our bikes broke the fall for the bike rack…but nothing came away unscathed. Even more fortunately though was the fact that Nat’s renter’s insurance covered the full replacement costs of both bikes. So, today I get to pickup my brand new Trek Madone 5.2. Which means that tomorrow, Nat and I are going road riding up in Boulder. The plan is to try to blend in as if we’re locals. As far as I know, this means showing up at Amante Coffee in a spandex unitard and aerodynamic helmet, chugging espresso and a bran muffin, and then heading out for a 3 to 4 hour ride on a hard, narrow seat. If I survive this, it will be my greatest feat to date….

Yesterday evening I went back up to Boulder to look at a few apartments for rent. The first one looked great in photos, but I quickly realized why they had only included pictures of the kitchen and bathroom…they were the only parts of the place that had received upgrades. The second place was a one bedroom right next to this amazing little park on Boulder Creek. After looking at the place, I rode my mountain bike straight from the front door into the park and met up with two local guys who asked if I wanted to ride with them. We rode up Boulder Canyon Road for a few miles before I had to turn back in order to look at another apartment. It was a fairly short ride for me, but in that time I did manage to fall backwards into a briar patch. I spent the rest of the ride trying to convince them that I was not retarded…just imbalanced.

On my way over to the third apartment, I saw what looked like a Farmer’s Market on a side street. I thought, ‘how neat, a Thursday night market’. So, I turned left to go check out the squash and the fresh melons. As I approached, I noticed that instead of dancing hippies and organic vegetables, the tents were full of bright lights, reporters and satellite uplinks (i have no idea what a satellite uplink is…or if it even exists…it just sounds right). I quickly came to realize that this is where they had just moved John Mark Karr. So, much for the fresh fruit…

The third apartment was in South Boulder at an apartment/condo complex called Tantra Lake. I arrived a bit early, so I took a look around the grounds. It was like walking around a nice park. There are paved paths that wind around a central lake with a huge fountain in the middle. The clubhouse (only about 50 yards from the condo) is incredible. It has a full fitness facility with machines and free weights, a heated indoor pool, an outdoor hot tub, basketball courts, tennis courts, a patio with grills and tables, and an enormous entertainment room with big screen TVs and pool tables.

The condo itself was pretty nice as well. The owner is a graphic artists and soccer player who just moved to CA for grad school. He used to work from home, so he has transformed the second bedroom into a home office. One entire wall is filled with a standup drafting table, a sitdown desk, drawers and cabinets. He turned the closet into a computer workstation with shelves for printers, scanners, fax machines and other office robots.

The place needs a little work, but the owner has acknowledged what it needs and offered to do the work. The main bedroom has a charcoal drawing of a woman wading in a stream. It is totally freaky. I emailed him to tell him this and said if he hadn’t seen it, I could email him a photo. He said that he had drawn that up there after breaking up with his girlfriend…a benefit of owning the place. I usually just drink whiskey and listen to country music…a benefit of owning whiskey and country music.

So, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I like the idea of moving to Boulder, but I’m also apprehensive…not really sure why….just feeling a bit that way. I’m thinking I’ll probably make the move though. Boulder has a much smaller feel than Denver, which appeals to me. It also butts up against thousands of acres of Open Space and National Forest. The leash laws there and Sight and Call, meaning you can have a dog off leash, the dog just needs to come when called. Believe it or not, I have been able to train Sadie to come when called through the consistent use of delicious peanut butter treats.

Nat comes back into town tonight. I think we are going camping this weekend. We orginally wanted to go to a place called Tuhare Lakes near Aspen, but the weather forcast is calling for Thunderstorms in that area all weekend. So, we may instead head to the Mt. Evans Wilderness area…only about an hour away. Wherever we go and whatever we do, it is bound to be one heck of a good time.

One of the activities I’m very much looking forward to getting into in Colorado is fishing. I used to go fishing with my Grandfather all the time, but have not gone very much as an adult. I don’t love lake fishing (mostly because I never catch anything), but used to love fishing on the Tallulah River. We went out there and caught our limit more times than one.

Last night I was watching a show on Do-It-Yourself TV about fly fishing in Yellowstone. This guy who was living and working in New York came home one day and his wife informed him that they were packing up and moving to Yellowstone. She said that life was too short not to be doing what they love. So, 30 years later, he is still tying flies and running his fly shop out of Yellowstone. He is in the shop half the day and on the river half the day. Not too bad…

My brother and uncle have always been very into fishing. My father is just now starting to get into it since he and my mom moved onto a lake a few years ago. So, I’m definitely looking forward to all of them coming out to Colorado (next Spring hopefully) to try their hand at fly fishing. I figure we could hook up with a guide for the weekend to take us out, teach us how to cast (or fly, or whatever you do), and spend the rest of the time fishing on the river and camping out next to it. We could even pay for the entire trip by letting Coors film it for a future commercial. I’m sure the image of me with a Coors in one hand and a fly hook embedded in my buttocks will sell some beer….

Scott (brother) just sent me a picture of the bass that he caught this past weekend….Scott is the one on the right side of the shot.

“I caught you a delicious bass.”

-Napoleon Dynamite

So I’m back in Virginia now at my buddy Eric and Val’s house. I arrived earlier this afternoon and drove to Del Ray for a few beers with my buddy George at the Evening Star. Afterwards, we went toiletry shopping at CVS. With the new TSA regulations, you are not allowed to take any gels or liquids onto the flight. I was able to pick up trial sizes of everything I’ll need while here…including LA Looks Mega Mega Hold hair gel. I normally use ’strong’ hold. I have no idea what Mega Mega Hold is going to do to me. I can only imagine that I’ll be able to take a bullet to the head after pasting on a couple coats of this stuff. After dinner, I plan to head over to Home Depot to get some paint thinner so I can get the Mega Mega Hold off of my head before bed. It is also advised that I don’t stand anywhere near a pilot light while sporting the Mega Mega hold.

Yesterday was all about Golden, CO real estate. Sadie and I were due stop by an open house on our way out to the Mt. Evans Wilderness. Well, the house turned out to be so sweet that I spent the day driving around the neighborhood, really considering whether or not I wanted to live there. It is a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath split level house with an enormous yard that backs to the Green Mountain Open Space. It is 15 minutes to downtown Denver, 1 hour from world class skiing, and located in the best school district in Colorado. It would be an amazing place to raise a family one day. My only problem there is that I do not have a family to raise yet. Part of me wants to live in a place like this, but a big part of me also wants to buy a condo near the walking mall in Boulder and have both quick access to the mountains and quick access to Sunday morning coffee at Amante Coffee. My gut tells me that I need to be true to where I am in my life right now. I can always upgrade my house when/if the family comes into play. Right now though, I don’t feel like my lifestyle matches with a 3 bedroom split level. The thought of being in a condo complex with other young people to go out with, yet easy access to the mountains puts me into a very happy place…

After house hunting in Golden, Mike and Ashley invited me over for dinner at their house. As usual, they cooked up an amazing meal accompanied by great wine, conversation and laughter. On the way over to their house, I was treated to a gorgeous rainbow followed by a classic Colorado sunset. What could be better than that?

If you had asked me yesterday afternoon what I was doing on my Friday night in Denver, I would have probably said ‘going to bed early in order to get out to the mountains early on Saturday’.  The option of going out bar hopping with a group of fun people in my approximate age range who probably fit the same consumer demographic is not what I would have guessed.  I’ll be damned if that is not what happened.

Long story short….I met a guy in my building who invited me down for beers last night with his roomate and the girl who lives across the hall from me (Amanda).  After two beers, Amanda’s three friends show up (Sara, Natalie and Kari), ready to go out.  After a bit of arm twisting, they convinced Dave and I to follow along.  I’m certainly glad I did.  I’m not huge into going out, but it was great to get to know a new group of people.  We all shared a taxi to a new bar called The Loft.  The place was not very crowded, the base was thumpin’, the girls were bored and ready to move on to the next bar.  After an incredibly long debate about which bar to go to next, we went outside to hail another cab only to find the bar is providing free rides to other bars in a stretched SUV limo.  We all agreed that this seemed like a really terrible business strategy, but it certainly worked in our favor.

The second bar was called Slim 7.  It was one of those swanky places that you had to know about in order to go there.  It was down a back ally between buildings somewhere in downtown Denver.  I guess if you didn’t know about it, you could follow the strong scent of perfume, cigarettes and gin and tonic.  Since I did not really plan to go out to a swanky bar, I was dressed in shorts, t-shirt and sandals.  The bouncer informed me that I could get in this time, but next time, ‘no shorts please’.  If he thought this outfit was bad, he should have seen me the other day at Office Max.

A few Bud Lights into our stay at Slim 7, those of us from Skye Condos agreed it was probably time to cab it home.  I’m not sure what they did when they got back to their condos, but I managed to find my way into a bag of corn chips and hot sauce.  I’m thinking about purchasing some baby locks and putting them on all of my cabinets before going out.  This morning I woke up with a fairly decent hang over and a hot sauce mustache.  It could always be worse…

Life is finally starting to feel normal in Denver. Settling into a place of my own has made a huge difference. I am actually loving working from home now. That Friday that I worked from Mike and Ashley’s, I was feeling super bummed out. Now I have a pretty sweet home office setup…complete with desks, filing crates, laser printer, sweet-a$$ leather chair, and most important…unlimited long distance calling. My 10 foot commute is tough some days, but if I’m walking extremely slow, I normally just throw on some tunes and by the time I’ve adjusted the volume, I’m at work.

It has been tough adjusting to using quarters for laundry again. I don’t think I’ve used quarters for laundry since college. To be honest, I don’t think I spent too many quarters on laundry in college anyway. Life is different now though…I’m a grown-up and must where things like underwear…and socks.

Speaking of underwear, I had run out of it the other day, so I was forced to go to Kmart and beg for quarters in order to remedy the situation. While I was doing laundry, I was forced to go ‘commando’ (in other words, without underdrawers). This is not a problem in the privacy of my own home. In fact, it is really not a huge problem out of the house either…you just feel like you’re doing something wrong. So, while the laundry was going, I ran out to OfficeMax to pick up a bit of ‘this-and-that’. The shorts I was forced to wear were some of my more ratty shorts. The edges are frayed, the pockets have huge holes in them, but they do the job of covering most of the sensitive areas….so I thought. Upon returning from OfficeMax, I caught a glimpse of my backside in my full-length mirrored closet door. Where there used to be back pockets there was now the blinding white color of my rear cheeks. If you happened to be at OfficeMax on Tuesday…please accept my apology.