AtomJohnson Blog

I am now on vacation intermission. Nat and I got back from Lake Burton last night and we head out on Thursday morning for four days in Martha’s Vineyard. God knows I am doing my best to focus at work, but it is nearly impossible. It is like being forced to eat a plate of brussell sprouts when you have been dining on delicious candy for a week. Yesterday morning I woke up and went waterskiing at 6:30AM. This morning I woke up and drove an hour to my desk and began to work. To ease the transission I had a virgin bloody mary on my drive to the office.

Below are some pictures from our vacation at Lake Burton…

Day is done, gone the sun, from the lake, from the hills, from the sky…but it has left of with the memory of an amazing day.

The part of the day where we wanted to be swimming and drinking beer off of the boat was filled with sun, warmth, and giant cotton balls clouds that would rival most skyscrapers. The part of the day where we wanted to go food shopping and sit inside playing backgammon, drinking Bloody Marys (and subsequently napping) was filled with soothing rain showers, gentle thunder, and the best Bloody Mary mix that has ever been found on the planet.

If you like Bloody Marys, run (do not walk) to the nearest liquor store and purchase Zing Zang. I have no idea what is in this stuff, my only possible guess is one part tomato juice and three parts magic. I first fell in love with Bloody Marys last New Year’s Eve in Madison, WI. Zing Zang was like falling in love for the first time all over again. Also, if you like Salad Dressing, I have another little secret for you.

After 11 hours of driving yesterday, we finally arrived at Lake Burton around midnight. The books on CD that I checked out from the library yesterday made the drive very bearable. We made two stops for gas and one stop at Taco Bell…OK, I guess we can just call that three stops for gas.

The lake this morning was picture perfect. It was smooth as glass with a thin layer of fog hovering just above the surface. I think I could do this forever, but a week will have to do for now. If you’re in the neighborhood, please swing by to say hello. We’ll fill you full of food, wine, laughter and sunshine…at the moment, there is plenty to go around.

I can hardly describe the stink. Nat had commented yesterday that the heating element on the dryer might be busted. The laundry was getting spun around, but never drying. I immediately felt that twinge of stress that comes with owning a house and not being able to call your landlord to fix/replace something. I was relieved this evening when I remembered that after heavy rains, the dryer vent hose gets water in it and needs to be emptied. There is no telling how long this water had been in the hose. There was a giant dead slug in the water that sludged out, but no autopsy report that stated a time or cause of death. As bad as this water stunk, it was probably suicide. You might think the Grim Reaper would not have time to play a prank like taking a dump in someone’s dryer hose, but the son of b*tch unloaded in mine. I have no idea how to get the stench out of the basement or the death-soaked water off the floor. I am officially on vacation now though, so I’m not really going to worry about it. I’m going to drive down to Lake Burton tomorrow with Nat and our two dogs, setup a chair on the dock, pop open a cold beer and then check the back of my eyelids for leaks.

We desparately need federal humidity relief. Every window in the house is covered with condensation. People who cannot swim should not go outside today. Fortunately I have a ton of work to do in preparation for my vacation next week, so you’ll find me inside, under the fan, on the computer, in a fury of productivity.

There is always time to post my first vlog though. As some of you may know, a vlog is a ‘video blog’. This was shot by Nat on her Sony digital camera and compressed to Flash video using this free tool.

The video would seem to be ‘just’ a video of me cutting a tomato. However, this is no ordinary tomato. This is one of three tomatoes that we will successfully harvest this summer. Nat and I planted a garden at the beginning of summer. I have nutured and cared for this garden with every maternal instinct in my body. Howevever, I’ve been known to be a lazy mother. I neglected to drive to Lowe’s to purchase the proper vine supports, so most of our tomatoes were killed in a horrible vine break about a week ago. I wrote a folk song about it, so all is not completely lost.

Apple is a great company that makes great products. Nobody is arguing this. My concern is that their products have begun to read my mind. I got home this evening amidst a heavy blanket of humidity that covered every square inch of Northern Virginia. In an attempt to combat my ridiculous workload combined with the hot, wet blanket of ‘code orange’ air that surrounds us, I threw on a song from my iPod Shuffle that I thought might make Nat happy. Mission accomplished…she loved it (the band is Ratatat…download it today…server warm…and smile). It has been 3 hours since I played this first tune. In those 3 hours, there has not been a single song that I have not loved. In those 3 hours there has also not been a piece of Salmon that was not amazing, a plate of salad that was not delicious, a can of beer that has not given me a much-loved Friday night buzz-a-rooski, or a gorgeous blond bundle of joy that has not passed out on the couch next to me. I do not have a single complaint this Friday night.

In other news, stay tuned for my first vidoe blog. I shot it tonight, I’ll post it tomorrow.

Oh yeah…also download ‘The Trapeze Swinger’ by Iron & Wine…it’ll change your life.

I guess video blogging is all the rage now. This one is certainly an interesting concept.

This website is a perfect response to the terrorists attacks throughout the world. The theme is “We’re Not Afaid”. It allows people to submit photos with that theme. I think its the perfect message of unity and courage.

Also of note: They sell t-shirts and all the proceeds go to the London bombing relief fund. Each of the images is scanned to ensure no anti-muslim sentiment.

It was 10 months ago to the day that I had a first date with ConfidentCamper from Match.com. Half price burgers at the Cowboy Cafe. Tonight, I’m watching the Tour de France as she lies asleep next to me. I could not ask for more. She makes me laugh everyday and smile every second. Happy Anniversary Nat!

I figured I could get away with just pulling up the leg on my dress pants for my knee follow-up with the Doctor today. I remembered my appointment, but forgot to bring shorts. I guess this has happened before, because they had a full stock of these ridiculous blue shorts with an eleastic waist. It was like pulling the stuffing out of 6 airline pillows, sewing them together, and throwing them over my ‘nether regions’. To complete the picture, I was wearing my black dress socks to my knees, a dress shirt and tie.

This was not the best part of the visit though. My stomach has been a bit jacked up since lunch. Nat packed me a salad last night while she was preparing lunch. It was amazingly tasty, but full of the musical fruit (…the more you eat, the more you…). While waiting, I was about to really lean into what could only have been understood as a whale’s mating call, when the handle jostled on the door and Dr. Hawken walked in the room. I quickly returned myself to a 90 degree upright stance.

All went well through most of the checkup. I laid on my back, he moved my leg a few ways, and only reported a bit of reaction on the inside of the knee. In my fragile state, I should have just let it go, but the same curiosity that killed the cat would soon threaten the life of my doctor. ‘What do you mean by reaction?’, I asked the doc. So, while I’m sitting up, he grabs my knee to show me. At this point, I’m holding it in like I’m on a first date. That tension must have translated itself down to my leg, because he instructs me to ‘relax’. These are not words that anyone wishes to be there last. So, I relax…and you guessed it….

Now, a doctor is a professional. Chances are good that he heard me perform the same horrific act of nature several times while I was out for the surgery. Now it was his turn to go under the gas. I’m supposed to return in 6 weeks for a follow up visit. I’m thinking of making a t-shirt for the visit that proudly asks, ‘Hoof Hearted?’.